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What is the shortest universal poem for a given length of rhyming pattern?

Clare (like gare) is a Chalkdust editor. In her spare time, she’s an assistant professor at Durham University. She likes Skittles, probability, and making the magazine look more like Cosmo.

Chalkdust dissertation prize 2025
Calling all final-year students! This is your opportunity to get your work published as a Chalkdust article.
Chalkdust dissertation prize
Calling all final-year students!
The big argument: What’s the best way to end a proof?
QED or $\square$?
You don’t need permission to be a great mathematician!
Nira Chamberlain, one of the UK's top 100 scientists, shares his experiences as a black mathematician.
How many quadratics factorise?
Write down a quadratic. What is the probability that it factorises? Paging Prof. Dirichet...
In conversation with Bernard Silverman
We chat to the chief scientific advisor to the Home Office about the role of scientists and mathematicians in politics