Dear Dirichlet, Issue 12

by Chalkdust. Published on 30 October 2020.

Moonlighting agony uncle Professor Dirichlet answers your personal problems. Want the prof’s help? Send your problems to deardirichlet@chalkdustmagazine.com.

Dear Dirichlet,

I have recently entered retirement, having handed over my day job—writing bafflingly popular hyper-violent thrillers which end with the villain getting crushed by an oak bookcase—to my younger brother. But I now find myself with time (as well as coffee and cigarette stains) on my hands. I’m thinking of dipping into movie making. Any good plot ideas?

— Leigh Children, now Wyoming apparently?!

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Dear Dirichlet, Issue 11

by Chalkdust. Published on 17 April 2020.

Moonlighting agony uncle Professor Dirichlet answers your personal problems. Want the prof’s help? Send your problems to deardirichlet@chalkdustmagazine.com.

Dear Dirichlet,

You’ll be pleased to hear I’ve just finished my PhD in abstract algebra, but now I’m stressed about jobs. I need to write this grant application for a big postdoc position studying a set combined with two binary operations, but all I want to do is curl up and read my favourite book: JRR Tolkein’s The Two Towers. What should I do?

— Elven Safety, Birmingham

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Dear Dirichlet, Issue 10

by Chalkdust. Published on 23 October 2019.

Moonlighting agony uncle Professor Dirichlet answers your personal problems. Want the prof’s help? Send your problems to deardirichlet@chalkdustmagazine.com.

Dear Dirichlet,

Boy, am I in a world of woes! In the coming months, I have to go into surgery six times for a whole host of illnesses. To its credit, the hospital has allowed me to arrange my own schedule. In your doctoral opinion, which procedures should I undergo first?

— Under the weather, Cambridge

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Dear Dirichlet, Issue 09

by Chalkdust. Published on 14 March 2019.

Moonlighting agony uncle Professor Dirichlet answers your personal problems. Want the prof’s help? Send your problems to deardirichlet@chalkdustmagazine.com.

Dear Dirichlet,

My husband and I have found ourselves in a long-distance relationship. His company offered him a large promotion if he moved to Canada for six months, but it seems now that the position will require more time. I’m not sure that I want to move out there with him, or that I could be happy knowing he had to move back here. Conversation with the time difference is hard as well. Any tips?

— Getting tensor, Four Oaks

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Dear Dirichlet, Issue 08

by Chalkdust. Published on 18 October 2018.

Moonlighting agony uncle Professor Dirichlet answers your personal problems. Want the prof’s help? Send your problems to deardirichlet@chalkdustmagazine.com.

Dear Dirichlet,

The annual village fete is fast approaching, and every year I embarrass myself at `guess the number of sweets in the jar’. My exasperated wife ends up telling me to just say a number, and I always panic. Last year my guess was $\mathrm{i} – \text{π}$. Maybe I was just hungry.

— Hungry hungry hippo, Gospel Oak

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Dear Dirichlet, Issue 07

by Chalkdust. Published on 12 March 2018.

Moonlighting agony uncle Professor Dirichlet answers your personal problems. Want the prof’s help? Send your problems to deardirichlet@chalkdustmagazine.com.

Dear Dirichlet,

I’ve recently had the good fortune of winning three pigs at the village fete. However, I’m not sure whether my triangular garden is big enough for them as well as my collection of metal, wooden and other deckchairs. The pigs are of substantial size and my tape measure is not long enough to measure the longest side of the garden. I’ve also heard that pigs are very intelligent and would like to hear suggestions for entertaining them.

— Pearl among swine, Lower Brailes

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Dear Dirichlet, Issue 06

by Chalkdust. Published on 18 October 2017.

Moonlighting agony uncle Professor Dirichlet answers your personal problems. Want the prof’s help? Send your problems to deardirichlet@chalkdustmagazine.com.

Dear Dirichlet,

I’ve just started my PhD at a well-known university, and I’m trying to make some friends. There are supposed to be 55 other students but nearly everyone in the PhD office refuses my offers of tea, sits in silence, and will barely talk to me unless I whisper them some very specific technical questions. I was hoping there would be some people in the group who enjoy everyday things: biscuits, beer, and just shooting the breeze. Is this really what academia is like?

— Pearl among swine, Withheld

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Dear Dirichlet, Issue 05

by Chalkdust. Published on 6 March 2017.

Moonlighting agony uncle Professor Dirichlet answers your personal problems. Want the prof’s help? Send your problems to deardirichlet@chalkdustmagazine.com.

Dear Dirichlet,

I personally have a very deep, long-held belief in free-market capitalism and the value of hard work, but I was recently shocked to discover when I switched subjects that most people in my new research area are staunch followers of Karl Marx! I’ve had many arguments with my new colleagues on this. I can feel my energy slowly draining with every passing debate. How do I resolve this?

— Feeling blue, Surreyv

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Dear Dirichlet, Issue 04

by Chalkdust. Published on 3 October 2016.

Moonlighting agony uncle Professor Dirichlet answers your personal problems. Want the Prof’s help? Send your problems to deardirichlet@chalkdustmagazine.com.

Dear Dirichlet,

This year has been a bit tough for us financially, and the only summer holiday we were able to afford was a week camping in the not-so-sunny East Midlands. My work colleagues, however, won’t stop talking about their blissful trips to the beaches of southern Europe. I don’t want to seem jealous but I wish they’d stop chatting about their suntans. How can I move the conversation on?

— Beyond the pale, Selly Oak

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Dear Dirichlet, Issue 03

by Chalkdust. Published on 13 March 2016.

Moonlighting agony uncle Professor Dirichlet answers your personal problems. Want the Prof’s help? Send your problems to deardirichlet@chalkdustmagazine.com.

Dear Dirichlet,

A new colleague at work is deaf, and I’m trying to learn BSL to communicate with her. I have commenced some classes at the local community college, but every time I converse with my hands, she cocks her head to the side.

Is this a social cue I’m missing?

— All thumbs, Royal Leamington Spa

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